And I will give you 5 simple, quick tips on how to best deal with it. We see how they do it or we find something with which they have done it. Or we see cuts and ask for them. Or our child comes to us and tells us and asks for help. Some tips can be more helpful than others, it depends on how you have found out that your child or someone who self-harms.
1. Listen to them and do not condemn them!
I know this can be very difficult. You take the time to listen to him and do not draw conclusions at the same time. Let them tell you why they do it. Let them tell you what they need from you. Let them speak. Take your time and listen. Give your best not to judge a situation before you have all the information.
2. Ask them what they need from you
Often, I know that many of my viewers who are younger are talking about talking to their parents, but do not know how to start.
“What do I say?” And that makes her very frightened. And as a parent, you really just want to know how to help. “What do they need from me?” So she asked, “What can I do to help you?” And make sure they get professional help. If they have open wounds that are very large and may need to be sewn, please bring them to a doctor to have their wounds checked.
3. Don’t think of self-breaching happening all the time
It is a process, it is not perfection. Because the pressure will still be there and he can come up or go away, come back and go away again.
But your child is doing his best in therapy to better understand why it hurts itself and what it means for it to hurt itself. And to be in therapy can help us figure out why we are doing it and we can work to reduce this pressure and the number of times where we hurt ourselves on, let’s say a lower monthly basis. But it is a process, not perfection. Let them know that you are there for them.
4. Ask the children, but they do not control.
I know it is hard if your child is not doing well and you think you are perhaps to blame. Or not, and you’re just worried all the time, because I’ve heard from many parents, that it’s hard to understand parents as well as their child with some problems that it has a mental illness, or has injured itself or has an eating disorder, whatever it may be called, it is just hard to admit it because we want our children to have it better than we do ever have.
You want to clear your way and be so much better than your own way. So we tend to control because we care. But I hear from my viewers, from the younger generation, that it is better if you only sometimes ask.
Let’s say, once in the evening you come knocking on her door, or whatever and say “I just wanted to see how your therapy is going and how you are doing. I’m here if you want to talk.” And then you go away. I know it’s hard, but it seems the best result.